(Highlight to View) Warning(s): Allusions to sex involving more than two, rude language, lots of alcohol.
(Highlight to View) Prompt: Lucius and Narcissa are very protective of their friend Severus. They want him to find happiness, but not with just anyone — she has to be a Real Witch. Don't bother with pureblood agendas etc. — this is a retelling of the Princess and the Pea: Hermione can do everything a Real Witch can do and more, but what is it that finally persuades the Malfoys that she's the Real Thing? And meanwhile, how is Severus taking all this well-meaning interference?
Note: "Angels on a Rampage" is the title of a song by Sunrise Avenue; it somehow suggested itself, seeing as Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy play a prominent, if not entirely successful part. The second part of the title is mutilated Shakespeare. (The Bard is most probably still spinning in his grave.) Also, be aware that this is crack!fic. Silly, adjective-laden and preposterous. I had fun writing it, especially this incarnation of Lucius as a slightly dim aristocrat with the attention span of a gnat. Credit for the Animagus Potion goes to shiv5468 who, to the best of my knowledge, was the first to use it in her fic "The Beginner's Guide to Breeding Peacocks". It also inspired the author to have Lucius turn into a peacock. The description of Manchester and Spinner's End may be a trifle too Dickensian, a liberty the author begs to regard as poetic licence.
Summary: Seven years after Voldemort's fall, Severus is finally ready to abandon a life of wild promiscuity and settle down with a Good Witch. But he's the last Prince, and therefore just 'good' isn't good enough. Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy take it upon themselves to ascertain that she is, indeed, the Right Witch. In the end, it is the awesome power of Italian patisserie that saves the day.
Part, the First
Part, the Second
Part, the Third
Part, the Fourth
Part, the Fifth